Let us celebrate the annoucment of Team Lippy Gudmund with this exciting Story about Lippys Life.
Lippy Gudmund Orgin Story:
Lippy Gudmund was born in the famous Skellige Village of Översatte du verkligen detta or in short Detta . Detta was famous for its countless Merchant that brought prosperity to the village and its residents. Or at least someone from the outside would think this. The problem is when Lippy was a child the people of Detta still used the old currency “Clan War”. People didn’t pay with boring coins! Everyone her paid their bills by winning a Clan War against the person asking for a trade.
Do you want to buy a house? Clan War!
Do you want a new Horse? Clan War!?
Are you a old Grandma walking around on a beautiful sunny day on the market and you see a Merchant sells a cute little puppet that would be a perfect present for your niece?
THIS GRANDMA GONNA FUCKING KILL THE MERCHANT IN A CLAN WAR!
Everything was paid in that way. The System itself was seen as flawless by the Detta Residents. The only exception was when you tried to pay the mortician for a funeral of dead family member. In that case, an endless loop of Clan Wars lead to the funeral of the whole family and every working at the morgue. Living in a Village full of merchant was like living on a battlefield full of fire and death.
And this battlefield was just the perfect place for Lippys Childhood.
Lippy Gudmund family counted as one of the richest and successful merchant in Detta. The Family Gudmund was the only family that didn’t need its own Army. Every Gudmun men is strong enough to fight a Clan War by themself and win it. The other merchants tried to avoid the Gudmunds at all costs. They knew they won’t win a Clan War against them and that the Gudmunds don’t even sell anything at all. They just loved to fight and “trading” allowed them to do that as often as possible.
It went so far that you risk the extinction of your bloodline by asking a Gudmund for anything at all because even the exchange of words was seen as an act of “trading” . Lippy loved to fight like everyone in his family Lippy lived his perfect happy life full of “trading”.
One Day a famous Nilfgardian merchant named Floren aep Mney paid the Village Detta a visit.
Detta caught his curiosity after he heard that the Village was famous for its merchants. Floren thought that Skellige Warriors are only capable of killing, raiding and transforming into bears.
Accordingly, to that he got very disappointed when he arrived at Detta. No one in the Village wanted to accept his Coins , which made it impossible for Florens to trade. His trip was overall full of disappointment. Not only could he not sleep in his Hotel from all the War Sounds in the background, but he also had to search for a new hotel everyday because the previous one got destroyed by a “paying” customer.
On the Day Florens wanted to leave Detta he made a big mistake. He accidentally talked to Lippy when he tried to ask for the way to the harbor. Lippy already prepared himself for Clan War with the stranger. But Lippy got surprised when the Stranger declined his invitation. By Law when someone in Detta decline a Clan War both Parties are forced to have a “Blood Dance of Fire and Death Battle “ in the Arena on the next Day. What sounds like a gruesome battle wasn’t nothing more than a simple dance battle between Lippy and Floren.
The Residents of Detta aren’t only obsessed with Clan Wars, but also with dancing. In Detta a Clan War only counts as win after the Winner performs a dance on the grave of the loser. Florens knew he won’t have a chance against Lippy because of his experience. He needed to find another way to win.
Floren took his best weapons with him and visited the Jury for the Dance Battle. Floren bribed the Jury like a real Nilfgardian .Floren won the Dance Battle with ease and this became the only day in Lippys life he was ever defeated. But Lippy was unaware of more misfortune on the way.
On of the Members of the Jury was none other than the Mayor of Detta himself . It was the first time in his life he ever got bribed and that made him curious. He went to Florens and asked him to get taught in the art of Bribery. Florens was happy to finally meet someone not barbaric in the Village and shared everything with the Major.
The Mayor used Florens teaching to grew his politic influence immediately. He slowy bribed eveyone in the opposition Parties and took over the Goverment. It’s so much easier to get new Political Followers when you dindt died in a Clan War. The Mayor decided something Revolutionary for Detta. He get rid off the old Currency Clan War and replaced it with Bribery. People stopped killing each other and now bribed each other with Weapons, Food or Animals. After some time the first coin got introduced and everyone started to trade like proper merchants.
Detta became one of the richest villages in Skellige for real this Time thanks to Florens teachings.
Lippy suffered under the changes. He wasn’t legally allowed to kill everyone anymore. He had to leave his old life in Detta behind and search for a new place for him. These events left a deep wound in Lippy Gudmunds soul 😦
So what did we learned from this Story today?
Introducing a beneficial Economic System into a Village full of barbaric Skellige Warriors can lead to prosperity, power, and peace?
Na fuck that! The real lesson we learned today is that :
Bribery is fucking OP and needs a nerf CDPR
Thanks for reading till the next time ❤
The Palmerin Club 